We were introduced to a new friend named Kelso this week. Kelso is a frog puppet that helps teach us how to solve problems. This SEL program, Kelso's Choice, teaches students to identify which problems are big (fire, running in the street, ect) and which problems are small (pushing, not sharing, ect). When a big problem occurs, students know to go tell an adult they trust right away. When a small problem occurs, students are encouraged to try two of Kelso's choices before they go to an adult for help. The Kelso wheel of choice helps them choose appropriate ways to act when they are dealing with conflict. Students are empowered when they feel strong enough to solve problems on their own. Right now, teachers are meant to be the facilitators when it comes to problem solving. We need to model how all of these choices are done before we can expect students to do them on their even. We will be taking the next several weeks to teach and model all of these choices. So far, we have learned how to say "please stop, "apologize," and "talk it out" | All of Kelso's choices are: 1) Talk It Out 2) Share and Take Turns 3) Ignore It 4) Walk Away 5) Tell Them to Stop 6) Apologize 7) Make a Deal 8) Wait and Cool Off 9) Go to Another Game |
Please StopWe know that when we say, "please stop" to someone we need to do it in a way that is calm and in control. We also know that it's okay if this choice doesn't work! This is just one of the many choices we can use when we find ourself in conflict. If it doesn't work, we move on to the next choice. | ApologizeWhenever conflict occurs, there is a sense of needing to feel heard by both parties. It is important to teach students that the appropriate time to apologize to someone is when the conflict has been de-escalated and both students are in a state where they can actually listen. When we apologize to someone we SAY something and we DO something. We might say something like, "I'm sorry for......" and ask them what they need from me next time. The DO part comes from the other student's response to what they need. That student may need a hug, that student may need for you to promise you won't react that way next time, or they may need nothing. We practiced how we say sorry and mean it! |
Talk it out
One choice that is not so easy is "talk it out." It is note sufficient to just go tell 5 and 6 year olds to "talk" to the person that they are having a problem with. What does that even mean? We've added a little more structure to this choice and given students the language needed in order to effectively talk to a peer about a problem. We first need to tell that person what's bothering us. 7 times out of 10, that person doesn't really know that what their doing is bothering you.
It bugs me when......
Next you need to tell them what you need from them. Be specific, don't just say you want them to stop. Tell them exactly what it is that they need to stop doing.
and I wish .......
It bugs me when......
Next you need to tell them what you need from them. Be specific, don't just say you want them to stop. Tell them exactly what it is that they need to stop doing.
and I wish .......
To help us remember these helpful stems, we created "bug and wish wands." These wands help us remember what we need to say to someone when we are trying to talk it out with them. These bug and wish wands went home last week, practice this language with your students at home. You may just find that there are a few things that are bugging them that you didn't even know about!
We also all got a chance to share what things bug us during a class meeting this week. Some "bugs" I heard were,
- talking when I am talking
- my sister rips my books
- when it's hot outside
We also all got a chance to share what things bug us during a class meeting this week. Some "bugs" I heard were,
- talking when I am talking
- my sister rips my books
- when it's hot outside
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Ignore, Walk Away, Wait and Cool off, Go to Another Game
These 4 choices are very similar, but have a key difference between each other! Sometimes the difference stems from what kind of a problem it is or how many choices you have already made.
Ignore - Most commonly used when someone is doing something that is a little annoying to you and you have already asked them to stop AND you have tried to talk it out. Sometimes it is best to just ignore what they are doing. This gives YOU the control and YOU the power to choose to not let it effect you. You might find that the problem goes away because the other person isn't getting what they want. | Walk Away - Similar to ignore, walk away is a great choice when someone is doing something irritating to you. If someone is tapping your shoulder on the carpet, you might want to walk away and move to another spot on the carpet. Just moving your location can stop the problem. |
Wait and cool off - Wait and cool off is used for when you are upset. When you are upset, your brain is not in a place where it can think about solving the problem. Sometimes you just need to calm your body and brain down before you try and solve the problem with your friend. | Go to Another Game A great choice if you are playing a game! Whether it is at recess or during math, you always have the choice to play something else if you are having a problem with how the game is being played. Lets say you are playing soccer at recess and someone is cheating in the game. If you have asked them stop or to play it differently and they still won't, maybe you should play another game where friends are going to be fair? |
Share and take turns | Make a Deal |
We are experts at this! | How about this, is I use the big magnatiles today, you can use them tomorrow? Making a deal is about coming up with a fair solution and following through with it! |